Friday, 10 September 2010

Absent without leave

"I've never spent a night in hospital in my life."
I would follow up with,
"Not even born in hospital"
and go on with the anecdote of how my mother spent 2 weeks in a maternity ward waiting for me to appear before being sent home to free a bed for a first-time mother (when I finally arrived I was the 4th)
Well I can't say that again. After 3 days on my front in bed when a pulled back muscle turned into a blocked nerve in the leg, I finally gave in and alowed myself to be taken into professional care for a few days.
The pills were weird. I awoke around 2am to see a fridge by the bed. The door opened and out stepped my brother, saying he had to adjust the GPS. He fiddled with the back of the fridge for a moment, bade me farewell, climbed back into the fridge and flew off, out of the window. It all seemed so natural.
What really did the trick, I felt, were the bottles of colorless liquid that were dripped into me.
Whatever, I am out now, no longer a hospital virgin, but better than when I went in and I am optimistic.
(George, can I say I am hopeful? - well it has been rather an egoistic entry! )


  1. Hi'ya Tramp.....

    Man - they had you all drugged up!! :-) I know that feeling. Once, after surgery, I awoke in the recovery room and I swear I saw Jesus........

    I am glad you feel optimistic about the outcomes to losing your "hospital virginity." How does it compare to __________ ???? :-)

    Keep getting well.........

    Love to you
    peace, hope and healing.....

  2. Yes, Tramp! Let us all be hopeful that you are well on your way to a speedy recovery.

    That is one weird story about your brother and the fridge. Be consoled that he only wanted to adjust the GPS. Families, as you probably know, can often make greater demands than that.

    Welcome back. We look forward to your postings and comments. Get well soon!

  3. Gail
    Ah that was a few years ago. I don't think my back was so stiff afterwards if my memory serves me correctly. ;-)
    What I did feel about hospital was to take every little bit of optimism and build on it and nip any negativism in the bud.

    It was weird but special. We can look at paintings, read poetry and prose, listen to music and ponder on what the creator of the piece was trying to say or we can find our own personal interpretation. Are dreams an art form to treat in the same way?
    Was I the creator of that dream? I think so. What was I expressing and to who? Only I "had" the dream so I have to relate it to others in words, pictures, music or whatever. There are probably issues here with how often I see him and how I worry a bit that he is on his own with nobody to look after him and nobody for him to look after. But then he turns up and what was all the fuss about. I had the feeling that if anyone else had stepped out of that fridge I would have questioned their or my sanity but that he should have arrived like that seemed so acceptable and sensible. So my sanity is perfectly safe (in my eyes)
    Sorry I'm rambling again.
    Just wanted also to say that the reference to hope is not a dig at you. It's just there is so much in your posts that I take a piece and chew it over. Vaclav Havel (the dissident playwright and later Czech president)spoke of the importance of hope to him in his times in prison. We mustn't forget the problems of translation here. I had great problems finding a Czech equivalent of the English word "greed".

    Now I'm going to pop over to your blogs and find something else to chew on.

  4. Hope is that spark which ignites life from mere existence. To be hopeful is simply to immerse yourself in a state of optimism, faith, and expectation—and when done with intellectual honesty, that is always a good and positive place.

    I'm really glad you took the necessary steps to help alleviate as much of that back pain and subsequent nerve issues as possible, even if you did have to lose your hospital virginity. Sometimes—and I'm speaking from much personal experience—our stubbornness gets the better of us and we suffer needlessly because of our lack of action. However, chronic pain has a way of wearing such resistance down…which can be a good thing. Besides, your friends were probably getting tired of hearing you brag about having never spent a single hospitalized night.

    Loved the bedside hallucination. Have no idea what—if anything!—it all means, but you were obviously given some dandy meds. Personally, I say sanity is overrated.

    Anyway, I'm happy to hear you're feeling better. I trust you'll continue to improve and look forward to reading future posts. Take care, my friend.

    P.S. I KNOW Lady was delighted by your return!

  5. Yes, a very interesting dream (I'm interested in dreams and their possible interpretations.)

    It's not surprising your brother figured in the dream - he's on your mind, even if only subconsciously, all the time: you have some quite normal feelings of guilt, anxiety, brotherly concern about him and his welfare, particularly since he lives on his own.

    It's fascinating that your mind chose to present your brother coming out of a fridge of all things. This is a perfect symbol, isn't it, for objectifying your guilt, anxiety, concern about him. You are worried he's isolated, lonely, cold, unloved. As you hint, he may be telling you: hey, don't worry, I'm OK, as he adjusts the GPS, symbolically reassuring you he does actually know his place in the world, and is happy with it.

    Though how one can distinguish between whether this is actually your brother reassuring you, or whether it's your unconscious trying to convince you of this, I'm not sure!

    I too have never spent a night in hospital in my life (touch wood). Though I've visited more people in hospital over the years than I care to remember.

    Get well soon!

  6. Some fridge that by the sound of things!

  7. Griz
    I have been chewing over the difference between hope and faith since I discussed it with George last week. You could say that it's all just semantics but "what's the difference between ..." is a way I start to think over a lot of things.
    I'm under strict instructions not to overdo it, especially as I have the cataract op booked for Thursday.
    You're right about Lady, a very warm welcome home but she knows something's up and gets walked by my 12-year-old son.
    Hope the weather there is as pleasant as here this weekend.

  8. SW
    I somehow feel that the details mean something. I often know that I have dreamed but I don't know what about, which is frustrating. It's true I had talked to my son about my brother that day so he was on my mind. He usually arrives just before Christmas.
    When they finally get you into hospital, watch out for the little green tablets.

  9. Weaver
    Yes there was something a bit "Dr Who"ish about it.

  10. Hope you are feeling much better now and that your back will soon be completely healed. I'm afraid I laughed when I read the part about your brother stepping out of the fridge! Those pills must have been quite something:)